I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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