She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
