I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
