Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
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I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
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She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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