Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I am available for nakedness
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
