Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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