Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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