Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
