what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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