so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
