what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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