what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
