As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
