TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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