absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
