Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
