matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
