I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
