i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
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Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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