CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
