Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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