Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
