Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
