I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We are all done wearing pants today
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
