you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
