I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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