We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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