Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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