i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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