you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
