Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
