I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
