Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
