all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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