Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize