my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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