I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
