No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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