I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize