So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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