Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
