My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
