yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
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And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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