I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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