belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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