is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
