I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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