Midget sex pt 2 tonight
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
