He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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