You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize