Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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