I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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