Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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