i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
