Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
