did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
