oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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