Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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