dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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