i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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