i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
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he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
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